http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/ I am the GREATEST Sat, 22 Oct 2005 15:40:01 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2005. http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/10.html Sat, 22 Oct 2005 23:34:53 GMT Rejected Cooking Show Ideas Three-Hour Meals for Just Under $400.00 Dinner, a Movie, and Passive-Aggressive Advances Ten-Minute Hotel-Room Meals for Lonely Travelers Iron Chef Electric Hot Plate Challenge Shopliftin' With Stacey! Institutional Cook Showdown http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=10 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/9.html Wed, 17 Aug 2005 05:41:24 GMT Titles of Sermons to Which Congregants Might Actually Pay Attention "The Ten Commandments—Loopholes And Safe Harbors: The Technicalities You've Never Thought Of" "Adultery: God Says 'Thou Shalt Not,' and That's Especially True for Pastors' Wives. Did You Hear That, Vile Woman?" "Gross Is Good: The Lord Shall Smite the Net Tithers" "Our God Is a Bearded God" "Holy Crap! It's the Holy Ghost and This Place Is Haunted!" "Hey, What Is the Deal With Transubstantiation? I Mean, Am I Right, People? That Guy Knows What I'm Sayin'" "How Much Good Would the Good Book Book If the Good Book... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=9 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/8.html Mon, 15 Aug 2005 03:08:01 GMT Ocean's Three Borderline-Inappropriate Dancing There Are Plenty of Mohicans Charlie and the Limited-Production Chocolate Startup Thursday the 12th Four Bachelorette Parties and a Friend in the Hospital Joseph and the Nondescript Monochrome Sportcoat Triassic Park The Upwardly Mobile Tenenbaums http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=8 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/7.html Sun, 14 Aug 2005 01:41:50 GMT Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular. You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex. Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you? Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=7 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/6.html Sat, 02 Jul 2005 21:34:53 GMT Some thoughts.... There is a Dave Matthews Conspiracy. It is simply that a decent amount of music released today, mostly of acoustic guitar, is actually released under aliases of the Dave Matthews Band, or just Dave Matthews. There is no... Jack Johnson, there is only Dave Matthews Band playing just an acoustic guitar, bass, and snare drum... sometimes less. John Mayer, there is only Dave Matthews releasing a Jack Johnson song with more than three instruments. Mason Jennings, there is only Dave Matthews recovering from a sore throat. Howie Day, there... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=6 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/5.html Sun, 09 Jan 2005 06:32:57 GMT Looking back on 2004, we have to conclude that it could have been worse. ''HOW??'' you ask? Well, OK, a giant asteroid could have smashed into the Earth and destroyed all human life except Paris Hilton and William Hung. Or Florida could have been hit by 20 hurricanes, instead of just 17. Or the Yankees could have won the World Series. But no question, 2004 was bad. Consider: • We somehow managed to hold a presidential election campaign that for several months was devoted almost entirely to the burning issue of: Vietnam. • Our Iraq policy, despite being discussed, debated and... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=5 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/4.html Wed, 15 Sep 2004 05:14:39 GMT Stress is a continuing problem in today's workplace. Deadlines, impending layoffs, pressure, and having a jerk boss all worsen the average employee's mood. Lots of workers wish they worked shorter hours, had less responsibility, made more money, or didn't have a jerk boss. People want something that can brighten their days, and not just one of those damned "Zen Gardens" with the sand that gets all over the place or a cute kitten or cute puppy poster with some cute phrase like "Hang in there!" or "Jerk Boss!" written across it. There is a much more obvious answer to the question, "What can I... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=4 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/3.html Fri, 03 Sep 2004 02:05:26 GMT We've all heard that inventors can get rich by "building a better lightbulb." Screw that. Lightbulbs are cheap, and I can pick 'em up in the grocery store. Takes about twenty seconds. What inventors should really be focusing on are the things that piss us off in our everyday lives. In order to get them started, I've come up with a helpful list of inventions that just about everyone would like to see. #1 Electroshock feedback devices on telephones. All phones should come standard with these puppies. For 25 cents, you should be able to dial *187 and send an electrical shock... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=3 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/2.html Mon, 22 Mar 2004 13:33:51 GMT I am announcing that I am running for President in 2004. Now most of you are thinking, of course I will vote for Bruce, he is "The Greatest". However, some people will say, what is your stand on the issues? To them I say...... shut up. However, for those of you who do care, here are my stands on the issues. SOCIAL SECURITY You hear a lot of talk these days about how the government cannot afford to keep giving more and more billions of dollars in Medicare and Social Security benefits to the elderly, especially to the wealthy, golf-playing, boat-owning, Lincoln-driving,... (more) http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=2 http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/archive/1.html Thu, 18 Mar 2004 03:17:04 GMT Since everyone cares about my opinions, as I am so great, I will give you my opinion on Ryan Seacrest. Ryan Seacrest sucks. He runs his mouth, and doesn't say anything. I can't stand him. I wish someone would squish his munchkin head. People that THINK they are great really piss off those of me who ARE great! http://thegreatest.blogdrive.com/comments?id=1