There is no...
Jack Johnson, there is only Dave Matthews Band playing just an acoustic guitar, bass, and snare drum... sometimes less.
John Mayer, there is only Dave Matthews releasing a Jack Johnson song with more than three instruments.
Mason Jennings, there is only Dave Matthews recovering from a sore throat.
Howie Day, there is only Dave Matthews trying really hard to keep from crying.
Steve Burns, there is only Dave Matthews using really weird computer-generated static sounds.
Barenaked Ladies, there is only Dave Matthews playing the occasional electric guitar and pretending to be Canadian.
Chris Gaines, there is only Dave Matthews pretending to be Garth Brooks pretending to rawk out.
Toby Keith, there is only Dave Matthews expressing his love for God and America.
Michelle Branch, there is only Dave Matthews playing the piano and singing with a female voice filter.
Damien Rice, there is only Dave Matthews expressing his deep-down love for eskimos.
Jason Mraz, there is only Dave Matthews seeing what it's like to completely fall from the face of the Earth.
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I don't watch a lot of movies, but when I do I have to stick around and watch the credits. In every movie they have a section for "Special Thanks" where they throw in everyone who didn't fit into any of the other credits. But it's already so easy to get into the actual credits that if you bring the key gaffer's assitant his coffee one morning, you get your own credit, under "Gaffer's Assistant Coffee Bringer." So what trivial thing do you have to do to be relegated to the special thanks? I think if you're walking down the street, and you see the director, and you say "excuse me" as you brush up against him, you'll get thrown in under the "special thanks" for your moral support.
You have to have a good memory to remember all thsoe people who did small things for you, cause there's always at least 8,000 names listed. I could never reach that amount. So under "special thanks" in my movie it would just say "probably you."
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One thing I love about comedy is that if I tell a joke and it bombs, I can say "Oh, they just didn't get it, they don't understand what I'm going for." It's the only job where if I screw up, it's your fault. That doesn't happen in any other profession. Like if you're a cop, and you a botch a hostage negotiation and eighteen people are killed. You can't say "Oh, they didn't get what I was going for. I thought telling them 'fine, kill the hostages, see if we care,' was cutting egde and new. People just don't appreciate smart hostage negotiating." If you ever get into a fight, I think the perfect threat would be "I'm going to punch you right into next tuesday, where my future will be waiting to punch you back into three seconds before I first punched you, creating a neverending continuum where I just beat your ass until the end of time."
